


Sleep (edited)

by BookshopLaura



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, possibly more - Freeform, undecided - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-14
Updated: 2014-06-19
Packaged: 2018-02-04 16:19:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,242
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1785490
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BookshopLaura/pseuds/BookshopLaura
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Arthur and Merlin start sleeping together, in the most innocent sense of the word.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Innocent Beginnings

It starts innocently enough. Merlin and Arthur have slept side by side many times, when hunts and various adventures outside of the palace have called for more impromptu sleeping arrangements. Then one night Merlin is putting Arthur to bed. Both are rather drunk and rather tired. By some miracle, probably magic (although he can't remember doing it and Arthur is still giggling about some hat that looked like a herring or something so clearly he didn't see anything even if Merlin did) Merlin has managed to undress and redress Arthur for bed and get him in it. Even his boots. When did laces become so tiny and complicated. He's just turning to leave when the world starts wobbling, so Merlin starts his zigzag walk towards the door. 

"Merlin! Merlin, you're drunk!" yells Arthur. 

"'m not as drunk 's you, Turniphead!" retorts Merlin, not turning. 

"Shut ya... shut ya mouth! Come here! C'm here!" demands Arthur, like it's a command.

"What now?" drawls Merlin, turning round dramatically as he reaches the bed post.

"Y' too drunk!" states Arthur seriously.

"Too drunk t' what?" asks Merlin, offended.

"Too drunk to walk... n... no wobble to bed!"

"'m not! I can walk in 'pletely straight...ish line!" states Merlin, putting one foot in front of the other very carefully and failing completely. 

"Don't be stuuuuuupid Merlin! Jus' stay here. 's a lot easier!" he moans like he's Merlin's Mother. Except that Merlin's never seen his mother drunk.

"Can't stay here, Prat. Only one bed!" he says dramatically patting the bed with both arms for emphasis. 

"'S a big bed. 'n you're only tiny. Save you breaking your lil neck." Arthur's voice goes up high when he says little and Merlin hopes he remembers it in the morning. 

"Fine. Jus' don't take all the blanket." mutters Merlin grumpily sliding under the covers.

\---

The morning is a little awkward to begin with, but Arthur remembers enough to remember that he told Merlin to stay because he was too drunk to cope with the stairs and both of them are fully dressed so clearly it's as simple as that. Gaius raises an eyebrow when he gets home but makes no comment.

\---

Happening once was perfectly innocent. But it happens a further three times in two months and other people begin to comment. Neither of them are bothered. They both know it's just accidental, convenience, just like if they were out together. But then there's the night without drink. 

Arthur has had a brutal day. A prolonged training session followed by two incredibly long, boring, and completely unproductive meetings. Merlin had worked hard too. Cleaning the stables and readying the horses ahead of tomorrows trip whilst Arthur trained, and getting a bath and lunch ready to squeeze between training and the first meeting. Then he too had to sit in on it. Arthur relied on him, glanced at him when people didn't realise. Not completely aware of just how much he was doing it. A lord made a comment about reducing poor relief or the public flogging of thieves and Arthur didn't even need to look up to know the look of Merlin's face. But he did, just to confirm it. The set of his face, the steel in his eyes, the way he slightly ground his teeth. He'd cast Arthur a knowing glance and Arthur knew his own mind was made up too. Why should these men with so much begrudge those with so little. And Merlin was right. But it was still a long, hard meeting and Arthur was ready for bed after the second which had taken place after dinner.

He sat on the bed, mind spinning, pounding as Merlin began to undress him. After a moment he realised that Merlin was taking a long while on his top button. He watched him for a while. The frown on his face, the way his eyes were struggling to focus, to stay open. 

"Merlin."

No response.

"Merlin" drawls Arthur.

"What?" snapped Merlin glancing up. 

"Forget the shirt. Just get the boots and socks off. I'll do the rest."

"Thank you, Sire" says Merlin without glancing up, but he kneels down to start trying to undo the laces. After a few moments Arthur feels Merlin pulling angrily at the laces. 

"Merlin."

"Yes?" says Merlin a little quickly. 

"You just called me Sire."

"And?" he sounds like a moody teenager. 

"You only call me that when you're annoyed at me, or other people are around."

"Sorry Sire... Arthur." Merlin's head drops.

"What's the matter?" asks Arthur quietly. Finally Merlin glances up. 

"I'm just really tired and those damn buttons wouldn't undo and now these laces are stuck and..." he's nearly crying.

"Merlin."

"Yes?"

"Go to bed."

"Thank you." Merlin gets up and heads to the door. When he hits door post and table on the way, cursing loudly Arthur rolls his eyes and says.

"Merlin, just get in the bed."

"I can make it." states Merlin, now more like a petulant toddler.

"I'm sure you can, but you with a broken arm is no good to me. Now get in the bed." 

Merlin stills for a moment, then moodily drags himself back towards the bed. He manages to drag his own boots and coat off before climbing into bed. Within a minute he is fast asleep. Arthur rolls his eyes fondly then lies down beside him. Soon he is asleep as well.


	2. Conscious Closeness

Arthur wakes first. The sunlight shines through curtains which had been forgotten the night before. The dust motes dance in it and Arthur wonders at how peaceful he feels. Distantly he can hear the castle waking but also a little bird song. Still early. He moves to turn onto his back from his side when he feels that he is still fully clothed. And then he remembers last night. Turning over he sees Merlin still sound asleep beside him, covers tucked up over his shoulders, right up to his chin. He seems to be trying to bury his face into the pillow. 

The wave of fondness that sweeps Arthur at the sight shocks him. After a moment he turns himself over as slowly and carefully as possible, and lies down again, watching Merlin sleep. Making Merlin stay had been the right decision. Clearly he was over-tired and needed the rest. Who knows what might have happened had Merlin tried to walk the castle last night. Merlin was clumsy at the best of times. Last night he'd struggled to make it to the door. But now what? And what would other people think of Merlin sharing his bed? On a feast night it was easy to put down to drink and lack of wits, but now there was no excuse. No, Arthur wouldn't hear them. If the choice was between people's opinions and Merlin's safety and comfort Arthur knew what he'd chose any time. But there was no point giving them any more to gossip about.

"Merlin. Merlin" says Arthur, prodding Merlin in the shoulder. Merlin grunts incoherently and rolls over. 

"Merlin!" says Arthur a little louder, tugging the covers away. He feels mean, and cold himself as the cool air washes over his own arms and legs. Merlin immediately balls up, his arms and legs contracting to protect themselves from the onslaught of the cold outside. And the sounds he's making become more protesting, until he turns over and glares through one squinting eye at Arthur. Arthur raises an eyebrow. After a moment Merlin focusses, dropping his gaze from Arthur's as his brain reorders to explain why he has woken up in Arthur's bed. 

"Thanks for letting me stay" he mutters, physically dragging himself from the bed. It's painful to watch, especially as Arthur can still see the bags under his eyes. He finally stands up by the bed, stretches (Arthur purposefully does not look as Merlin's shirt rides up to show his belly) and rubs his eyes. Yawning, he asks

"What did you want for breakfast?" 

"Is it worth me asking for something hot and drenched in fat?" asks Arthur in return, sitting up, his arms resting on his knees. 

"No" says Merlin rubbing his other eye.

"Because you're having porridge like usual."

"Why do you even bother asking me that every morning?" asks Arthur as Merlin makes it to the door, walking into the edge of the table this time.

"Gives you the illusion of being in charge." throws Merlin with a small smile, before closing the door. 

\---

The night of exhaustion had been an exception, Arthur had decided. Besides which he's been keeping an eye on Merlin now, making sure he's not doing too much, eating enough etc. Watching Merlin struggle to stay awake is painful to Arthur. Besides he gets really grumpy and Arthur just doesn't need that. 

But then there is a letter from Mercia. They intend to send a large delegation to Camelot to meet with Arthur and many other leaders from various different kingdoms to discuss trade and treaties. It's a huge opportunity for Camelot and Arthur to shine on an international stage and Arthur's so worried about doing something wrong. He's already rewritten his speeches about five times and spend two sleepless nights chewing his lip and getting himself twisted in his bedsheets. And the delegation is only one day away. 

That night as Arthur sits and stews Merlin is trying to undress him for bed. But Arthur's still holding his first speech in his hands and replaying it over and over in his head. Intonation here, make this part funny, pause dramatically here. He blinks nervously as he tries to remember all the points he needs to make. Suddenly he feels a tug on the piece of paper. 

"Arthur. Arthur, put it down now." says Merlin pulling the parchment from his hand. 

"Merlin, I need to..." whines Arthur. 

"This isn't helping, Arthur. You need sleep. You need to go to bed." states Merlin like a nursemaid.

"Sleep doesn't help. I know I'll just lie awake worrying about it, so I may as well just read it..."

"You can't because I'm going to put it away with your other speeches." says Merlin, walking over to Arthur's desk and laying the rolled parchment with the others. 

"I'll just go and get it as soon as you leave." states Arthur. And now he knows he sounds like a petulant child. Merlin pauses for a moment to think, then starts taking his jacket off. 

"Then I'm not leaving."


	3. Creating Complications

They end up staying awake for quite a while discussing Arthur's speeches and the preparations being made. But by the time Merlin is struggling to keep his eyes open and wishing Arthur a good night, Arthur's mind is calmer. It's relaxing to have Merlin there when usually his own thoughts would leave him getting more and more stressed. And soon after Merlin he drifts off into a peaceful sleep.

\---

His awakening is just a peaceful, to begin with. He's warm and comfortable. His head buried into the warmth of the pillow, his arms hugging... His mind begins to register his actual situation. He's lying on his side, so hid head isn't buried into the pillow. Besides the pillow doesn't smell like sweat and something he recognises but can't place. It doesn't feel as solid or as hairy. And his bedsheets definitely don't feel like...

Arthur squints an eye open hoping he's mistaken. But right in front of him is a wall of black hair. His nose is buried into Merlin's neck. His arms are wrapped possessively around Merlin's waist. His front is plastered to Merlin's back, there's no two ways about it. Merlin lets out a little sign of protest and wriggles a little. Arthur's heart races but then Merlin turns a little in his sleep and buries his own head more into the pillow. Clearly he's asleep. Which allows Arthur's heart to calm a little. But only a little.

He's always ignored the gossip about his and Merlin's relationship. People were idiots, willing to see scandal wherever they went because their own lives were so boring. Merlin was his servant, they're just very comfortable with each other after having been through so much. It strikes Arthur that they've become a little too comfortable. He doesn't feel for Merlin like that. Merlin's a servant and a man (he's never like men before) and not particularly good looking (although he is the best person Arthur knows and would trust him with anything) and his best friend and...

And he's still spooning him like a lovelorn teenager. Arthur tries to pull away slowly so as not to wake Merlin, but as he's half way to getting his arm out it's clear that that's not going to work. With a jolt of inspiration he yanks his hand away violently and starts shoving Merlin roughly.

"Wake up, sleepy head!"

"Geroff!"

"It's morning Merlin! Wakey Wakey!" shouts Arthur's in Merlin's ear. Merlin turns over to glare at him, the effect rather ruined by the fact that he's having to squint to even see Arthur properly. 

"I prefer you when you're asleep." he moans and Arthur shakes his head.

"This is revenge, Merlin. For all the wake up calls you've given me." he says riding on a high of 'I got away with it!'.

"I'm your servant, I'm supposed to get you up. I don't do it because I want to. You're rubbish in the mornings."

"Shut up and get me breakfast." says Arthur climbing out of bed and trying really really hard to consciously think of anything other than waking up wrapped up in Merlin again. Maybe under different circumstances. And failing. Merlin huffs, pulls his shoes and socks on and leaves.

\---

The arrival of the various delegations is stressful enough for Arthur without the added pressure of the dawning realisation that he might be in love with his servant. Might be. It's only a possibility. Probably just a mild infatuation. They're best friends and as Merlin is his servant, they live in each others pockets. It was bound to happen at some point wasn't it? 

At times when meetings should have called for his undivided attention he's found himself staring in Merlin's direction. Or staring into space thinking about Merlin and him. Analysing everything he has said, or Merlin has said. What he's done and Merlin's done. And really the bed sharing does look pretty damning. And the horse play is cast in a more sceptical light. And how long Merlin looks at him, and he looks at Merlin. Like Merlin is now. He's asking Arthur what's the matter. Is he ill? Thirsty? Does he need an excuse to get out of here? The thing his Merlin is the other side of the hall to Arthur and he's saying all of that with his eyes and subtle gestures. An old emissary from Mercia has been rambling about their traditions for about ten minutes and Merlin hasn't said a word. And yet Arthur has got more from Merlin's looks than the entire Mercian speech. He shakes his head slightly, but Merlin clearly isn't convinced as he just frowns and pouts a little more. 

Arthur decides there's only course of action. He must get over this infatuation before it ruins him as King, or worse, destroys his friendship with Merlin. So the first thing is they must not share a bed ever again.

\---

Which is fine until the night after the talks when Merlin is putting Arthur to bed. They're both tired. The talks have been a great success and Camelot is buzzing with the impact, excited news about new trade opportunities and goods to buy. In the hall the celebratory last feast is emptying of the last stragglers, Gwaine guiding a slightly worse for wear Leon to his bed. But in his chambers Arthur is content. Merlin is undressing him for bed, the last few days have been a triumph and soon he will be comfortably asleep in his own bed. 

At least he would if Merlin would make faster work of the buttons. He glances down and he can see the bags under Merlin's eyes again. 

"Just do the boots please." says Arthur, swallowing. Merlin nods and moves to the laces which thankfully were half undone anyway. Merlin makes short work of them and then looks up at Arthur. Tiredly, but a little expectantly.

He knows what he wants to say, to ask, but he's decided he won't. And now it's come to the point it's more difficult than he imagined.

"Thank you Merlin, goodnight." he says. Merlin looks a little startled. He struggles to his feet and then walks towards the door. But his hand catches on the bedpost and he pauses a moment.

"Arthur?" 

"Yes, Merlin." says Arthur, his heart pounding.

"Can I just stay here tonight. I'm tired and cold and..."

"No." states Arthur, and he knows it's a little quick. Merlin turns to look at him. He looks confused.

"Please, Arthur. I'm so tired. I won't hog the bed sheets, you know I won't. I never have before!" 

"I said no Merlin!" says Arthur standing up abruptly. Merlin lowers his head a little. He looks as if he might cry. He's just over tired. He gets grumpy when he gets tired.

"So now you don't care if I break an arm on the stairs?" mutters Merlin and Arthur can barely hear him.

"Stop being pathetic, Merlin, and go to bed!" says Arthur. And he's nearly crying himself because this feels cruel. When Merlin all but runs from the room he hits a table, a chair and a cabinet on the way out he knows it's a bad sign. Arthur doesn't sleep well that night.


	4. Evening Confessions

Arthur wakes to being pushed repeatedly by on the shoulder. It takes only a moment to register that this isn't the usual way that Merlin wakes him. He cracks an eye open to see that yes it definitely is Merlin there before him. Except something is wrong, different. Why isn't he man handling Arthur like before? Then his eyes focus.

"Good morning. George is bringing your breakfast in a moment..."

"What happened to your arm?" asks Arthur, trying not to let the worry and guilt he's feeling seep into his voice. Merlin's right arm is wrapped in a mass of bandages and hitched tightly across his chest with a sling. Arthur can just about make out two pieces of wood tied in with the bandages. Splints to keep the arm straight. 

"I... I..." stammers Merlin, looking down guiltily.

"Merlin." says Arthur a little impatiently. 

"I didn't do it on purpose I swear." blurts Merlin quickly.

"It just... I was walking too fast and I wasn't paying attention and I tripped down the last couple of stairs and... I broke my arm."

Arthur can't help the way his eyes close or how he swallows to bury the guilt and worry he's feeling. 

"Gaius says it's a clean break and he got to it quickly and set it. It will heal quickly. I'm sorry Arthur, I wasn't trying to prove a point. I'm sorry about yesterday, I shouldn't have presumed and gotten in a mood..."

"You get moody when you're overly tired." says Arthur without thinking. But it doesn't matter, it's true.

"Isn't an excuse." says Merlin after a moment. When Arthur looks up Merlin's eyes are downcast and he looks a little upset still. But resigned. As if something has shifted and a distance has been created. Maybe it's for the best. 

\---

For four torturous weeks Arthur keeps Merlin at arms length. It's not difficult, with a broken arm Merlin is on reduced duties as it is. But it is difficult. It's torturous to Arthur. At first to see that actually the distance upsets Merlin. And he can't help the way his heart both swells and aches, that Merlin might love him back and also that he's hurting him by driving this distance between them. But as the third week progresses Merlin seems to bounce back, to adapt to the situation. And if anything that is worse. Because if Merlin did feel anything for Arthur, he's getting over it. He's moving on. He doesn't need Arthur like Arthur still so desperately needs him. When Merlin talks about spending his time, time he'd previously have spent serving Arthur or being with Arthur, with others, Arthur feels jealousy and despair flair up and he has to consciously stop himself from snapping at Merlin. 

But a month after Merlin broke his arm he is able to help Arthur dress (with some help from Arthur). He's also returned to attending to council meetings with Arthur. At first he doesn't make eye contact, which scares Arthur. He knows he is too reliant on Merlin's opinion and guidance, but to have it withdrawn entirely he feels adrift, alone.

After the first hour Arthur manages to catch his eye and Merlin rolls his eyes at whoever is speaking. It's not their usual unspoken conversation, but Merlin's few looks get Arthur through what ends up being a killer meeting. Despite not having much to discuss, petty arguments dragged the meeting late into the night and Arthur is shattered by the time Merlin follows him up the far too steep stairs to his bed chamber. 

He stands to let Merlin undress him and all he can think is how badly he wants Merlin to stay. But Merlin is having no problems undressing him tonight. After a few minutes Arthur is in his bed clothes and Merlin is walking towards the door, managing to only scrape the table as he walks there. Arthur panics and his resolve crumbles.

"Merlin."

"Yes, sire?" says Merlin, turning.

"Don't call me that." frowns Arthur, knowing he's pouting slightly.

"Sorry, Arthur. What do you need?"

"Merlin..." he feels like he's trying to swallow an apple whole and there's so much he wants to say, but he doesn't know how to make things right,

"Arthur?" says Merlin stepping into the chamber more, his brows creasing in worry.

"I... if you're tired... you could always, you know... stay here. Tonight." It doesn't sound as nonchalant as he'd planned. Merlin looks at him for a moment, his eyes flitting between Arthur's. But then he drops his gaze again.

"It's okay, Arthur. You don't need to feel guilty about the... I'm not going to fall down the stairs again." Merlin looks like he's going to turn and leave.

"I want you to stay." blurts Arthur. He feels himself freeze. He feels like everything everywhere else in the entire world is waiting, holding it's breath for Merlin's response.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo I'm planning at least another chapter, but considering extending it to take in a magic reveal. What do people think?


	5. Late Night Confessions

Merlin has stalled, facing towards the door. He's not sure what would be worse. Merlin saying yes or no, or maybe simply walking out of the door. If he says yes then it might be a sign that Merlin does reciprocate his feelings, but then again it might just be innocent. He might really be very tired and appreciate not having to drag himself all the way back to Gaius' chambers. The seconds tick by like hours, but then Merlin shatters the silence.

"Why?" Arthur feels wrong-footed. Defensive. Merlin slowly turns to face him. His eyes are searching and wary. He must at least suspect Arthur's motivation and Arthur's not sure how brave he is in revealing that. 

"Because ... I miss you. And I'm sorry things have been... different between us. I never meant to..." He wants to say more, wants to explain more, he's not being as articulate as he'd like to be, but to say more might risk his relationship with Merlin and that is the one thing he values above all else. He may only have recently realised it, but a day not seeing Merlin feels hollow. And in place of their easy closeness has only been emptiness and the dreadful sense that Merlin has replaced him. That he doesn’t need him. That the bond they had developed was only sustaining him and only he was hurting by its loss. 

But maybe, maybe it wasn’t so one-sided because Merlin is still looking at him, as if he's trying to looking right into him. Judging him, trying to read him. He feels like a deer when it spots a hunter, and he tries not to let the rigid terror show on his face. The fear that he is absolutely and completely wrong and on the brink of losing everything. Eventually Merlin seems to make a decision. He still watches Arthur strangely, but says

"I don't mind staying... if that's what you want." he continues to watch Arthur steadily, not breaking eye contact.

"I do want that." says Arthur with as much courage as he can muster. Merlin smiles slightly then nods. He walks past Arthur to sit on the side of the bed that Arthur only just realises he considers Merlin's. 

But something is different this time. Where before they've chatted easily whilst they undressed, not looking at each other and trading insults; tonight they are silent. Arthur finds himself glancing up at Merlin as Merlin pulls his scarf off, and meets Merlin's eyes as he pulls his coat off. It's a little clumsy as his arm is still in bandages but without the sling he manages on his own, never breaking eye contact. It feels intimate; it feels like Merlin is trying to say something, like he does sometimes in council meetings. Except that now Arthur is too worried about misreading Merlin's unspoken words to understand them. Without permission Arthur's eyes dart down to where Merlin's pale chest and a dusting of chest hair can be seen above his shirt. As he tries to drag his eyes back up to Merlin's he is distracted by Merlin's lips, parted slightly. When did they become so red, when did Merlin become so beautiful? Finally his eyes break from Merlin's lips to meet Merlin's eyes. Which are wide and watching Arthur's every move. Which for the last few minutes has involved very little actual physical movement?

What should he do? He wants nothing more than to walk across and push Merlin down onto the bed right now, wrap his arms around him and kiss him until Merlin is gasping for breath. He feels the desire to keenly it scares him. Merlin is his servant, but more than that, the closest friend Arthur has ever had. He can’t help the nervousness that he is wrong, that after all this time Merlin will be laugh or look disgusted because no, of course they’re just friends. 

Blushing, Arthur turns around and walks over to his side of the bed. He pulls the covers back to climb in and glances up at Merlin who is still sat on the bed, now staring at some point on the bed sheets. He’s frowning a little; he’s drawn his legs up to lightly hug his knees. Nervously Arthur peers round at Merlin again. He looks so innocent, so perfect in the candlelight and if Arthur had had any doubts, now he knows that he is hopelessly in love. He turns and blows out the candle on the table beside him and climbs into bed. Laying down he watches Merlin as he twiddles his thumbs for a moment, then turns to blow out the candle on his side of the bed.

In the darkness he feels the covers tug as Merlin climbs under them. After a moment he is settled and they both lie there in the pitch black. 

"Merlin." says Arthur into the darkness in front of him.

"Yes?" says Merlin, and from the sound of it he's quite close, facing Arthur. 

"I'm sorry about your arm." Its rubbish and not what Arthur wants to say but he feels like it needs to be said. He feels Merlin laugh awkwardly, the puff of air caressing his cheek where Merlin is lying so close.

"You don't need to apologise..." he breathes, voice a quiet and apologetic. 

"I shouldn't have sent you away." Arthur rushes to interrupt. It feels strange, talking in the dark. Like Merlin isn’t really there, but then again is closer than is even possible. 

"This is your bed, you are perfectly entitled to..." says Merlin still quiet, still close.

"I wanted you to stay. But I..." He's on the brink of the truth now and he feels the mattress shift as Merlin sits up a little and edges closer.

"But what, Arthur?" asks Merlin after a moment. His voice has lost its apologetic tone. There’s an urgency, a pleading in it Merlin seems to be holding back. 

"I... Merlin, I..." Why is it so difficult to say? Surely Merlin wouldn't be insulted by Arthur's love, even if he doesn't reciprocate it. He would't hate him, would he? 

"Arthur, please..." Merlin's voice is tight, his breathing is rushed against Arthur’s cheek. Arthur will do it, Arthur will kiss him and damn the consequences. 

"Ar...” Arthur has turned onto his side and pressed his lips to Merlin’s or at least as close as he’s able to gauge in the darkness. But the teasing breath against his cheek had proved a useful guide. His hands find Merlin’s cheeks and for a moment Arthur let’s himself wallow in the taste of Merlin, the smooth feel of his lips, the way Merlin’s breathing is mingling with his own, quick and deep.

But Merlin doesn’t move to kiss him back. Arthur pulls away a little. It is only then that he feels Merlin’s bandaged hand lying on his hip, his fingers lightly gripping. Arthur feels a smile spread across his own face and his heart seems to swell or explode in joy. He doesn’t know how to explain it; a mixture of ecstasy and relief. But he can’t help it when he lets out a laugh, stroking Merlin’s face with his thumb as he does. Merlin laughs lightly in return, but then Merlin’s grip on Arthur’s hip tightens and Merlin surprises Arthur by kissing him in return. Arthur’s hands move from Merlin’s face to run through Merlin’s hair. 

“I love you.” Arthur hears between kisses and immediately they both stop. For a moment Arthur wonders if he had said it without realising it, lost in the passion of the moment. But Merlin has actually frozen, and Arthur can almost feel his fear for him. He’s scared that he’s gone too far, but for a moment Arthur can’t say anything; because Merlin loves him. Merlin, who more than anyone sees him for exactly who he is, loves him. 

“Arthur?”

“You love me?” asks Arthur, so shocked he’s not sure that he heard right.

“Yes” comes Merlin’s quiet reply. Arthur can’t help but kiss him again, because he can and he wants to. And because Merlin loves him and he hasn’t know how much he wanted, needed to hear that until Merlin said it.

“God, Merlin. I love you too! I love you so much!”

“You do?”

“Yes! I love you and I missed you! I promise I will never send you away again! Never for any reason!” swears Arthur before kissing Merlin again, his hands moving to Merlin’s cheeks. And Merlin kisses back enthusiastically, no desperately. Like someone struggling to breathe. Arthur feels a tear run over his thumb. 

“You okay?” he asks quietly.

“Just can’t believe... you love me too.” Says Merlin, his voice trembling. 

"Don't ever doubt it." says Arthur. Merlin seems to think for a while. 

"Never doubt I love you too."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So a lot of you liked the idea of a magic reveal, and I do want to do one. But I think this works better as is and I'll write a sequel that can either be read as a standalone story or a continuation of this depending on how you feel. It just felt like a natural close hear. As usual virtual cookies for comments. Maybe you don't agree, maybe you think there should have been more/ less/ more llamas I don't know. I love any comments!


End file.
